It’s become extremely apparent to me that I show love to people in an authentic and transparent way. My struggle lately has been getting vulnerable. Showing the layer of myself that allows the ugly cry to be the best most telling part of me.
I struggle getting to even get vulnerable with myself to see where I need to work on. I prayed to God everyday to show me where I need help, how I need to grow, and who can support me doing it.
This meant that I had to not just get vulnerable with God and myself but also in my community. I had to share my secrets not just the details I felt ok to share but also the ones that were hard to share. I struggled, I even failed at times. I felt shame, guilt, and an inability to meet my own expectations.
I got tired of superficial friendships I got tired of feeling like people were judging me on such a deep and profound way that I couldn’t recover from. I imagined that people talking about me behind my back about my ways of thinking and my feelings that I began to isolate myself on a deep level even though I would connect on the surface. I prayed, cried, and even began to stretch myself.
I am not saying I made it and that it’s been an easy road. I can say that the best part of loving myself is allowing myself to get really uncomfortable and coming back to a place of humility that leads me to understand love not just for others but for myself also.
I found loving me means being patient and kind to myself. Learning not to wish I had other’s experiences and be ok with the ones God has given me. I learned to honor other people and how they deal with things, I learned to let things go and rejoice. I don’t get jealous and compare myself anymore. This is the way I have learned to love myself. It’s a process and it takes a reminding daily sometimes even moment to moment but it’s absolutely worth it.
Till next time…embrace your journey. God’s love abounds everywhere if you just look for it.
Krys Grant-Ray
Christian Transformational Lifecoach
Krys Grant-Ray 