Process in Progress!

Today was the second day this week that a homeless person stepped in front of me to disrupt my day intentionally. They said extremely disrespectful things to me and brought a lot of attention to the situation. I did my best to stay calm, respectful, and not yell with frustration.

The part that really bugged me and still honestly bugs me is that one person did it in front of my son. She was beyond anything I could have imagined happening. My son still says he has nightmares about the encounter.

Now that some time has past and I have been trying to figure out why this happened. Obviously I am attracting these personalities to me and can’t understand it. Why am I so tormented by these experiences?

I forced myself to sit and reflect on where my heart is. What are my true beliefs and values around mental illness and homelessness? How could I have dealt with this differently?

REFLECTION

As a young adult I use to be the type of person who would walk on the other side of the street when I saw a homeless person. I would act like I didn’t hear them speaking, or even worse pretend they didn’t even exist.

Time had passed and in an instant I was no different. Yup… I found myself homeless at the young age of 20! I spent many nights at a time in a greyhound bus station. I ran away from my family while in a state of depression. I thought I could figure things out pretty easily. It was a lonely place to find myself. I didn’t like their ways of doing things. I didn’t think I was sick as I was.

Though I didn’t stay homeless long, I remember the looks I received. I remember people saying mean things to me. I remember wondering when I was going to eat, shower, or even go to the bathroom somewhere safe. My most vivid memory is thinking how am I going to get myself out of this?!

Years past and I was employed, had my own job, on my way to having my own place. Homelessness became a distant memory. Depression seemed so far from who I had identified with. At a merely 24 years old I began traveling for work and things were so accessible for me.

As 25 crept into view memories began to flood back of who I have been. Depression, attempted suicide, cancer, homelessness, and rape all flashed through my mind. Isn’t it funny how our mind can replay all the bad stuff but rarely gives you a real of the good stuff!!!

I struggled. I struggled…and honestly maybe today at 37 I still struggle with some of it. Maybe when people see me they see a glimmer of themselves. Maybe it’s frustrating looking in the mirror at someone you don’t want to be. Either way I am confident that I love the journey people go on. I love the ability to express ourselves boldly with no apology.

This process makes progress challenging. I cling to my faith because humans continue to amaze me.

Till next time.

Lots of love,

Krys

Published by Krys Grant-Ray

Hello, my name is Krys Grant-Ray and I am a Christian Transformational Life Coach. Yes, that is a mouth full, isn't it? I have used my coaching training and my relationship with God to switch focus from changing a thought or action to true transformation. My focus is helping you find the optimum space for authentic transformation from the inside out. Put a magnifying glass up to the mundane cycle of your life that you sucked out passion while you seek out what you want. Rediscover who you really are and what you were put on this earth to do. Let go of the daily grind we all get stuck in. I continually challenge you to think outside of the box you were taught in. Together we seek a better way to become the best version of who you are. I do this through an 8- step process of shifting focus, investing in what you believe in, building a foundation that supports consistent positive growth. Finally, you will learn how to grow in the restful periods of life and then know when to move on to the next step. This transformational process gets you out of comfort zone and into your thriving zone. It is a wonderful and creative place that you need to visit daily. Together you and I will map out your thoughts in a way that works specifically for you. Let’s open your world to clear and vivid images that you can put into words. From those words you will find authentic self-expression; ultimately discovering your uniqueness and experience geniune truth and beauty.

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