Often times I make promises to myself that I brake because of many reasons. In the moments I can’t really identify why, when, or even how I justify the broken promises. I struggle with this limited belief that I don’t deserve something or that something bad is going to happen around what I am given an opportunity to experience.
Why write a blog about it… I guess because I am aware of the human condition we are faced with called commitment. Some of us find it a struggle to stay committed to the same person, some of us find it a struggle to stay committed to our jobs, others of us have yet to admit we have an issue of commitment in some relationship we have.
The truth is, it doesn’t matter what the commitment issue is we still need to find a way to overcome it. So I can only talk about mine because I live extremely close to it.
So, I recently came to the conclusion that as loyal as I am as a person I fail to commit to myself to live the life I daydream about. Sure, it’s easy to get distracted helping others build their dream, raising a family, being a spouse, and we have the ability to let this list go on and on.
For the past three months, I have been having this feeling to take back some things that belonged to me. I didn’t know at first what those things were or even how to take them back. What a load to carry huh? Absolutely.
As I sought out the things I am supposed to take back, I realized they were not materialistic things. They were things that were unseen. Wow…how can I take back something that is unseen? Daily our minds are filled with words from others about how they see us, how they expect us to behave, their desires for us, their lack of desire for us, and also this list can go on.
The words though! The words! When we allow them to take up residence in our being, mind, body, and heart we begin to become those words. That is what I needed to take back. I needed to take back my ability to let other people’s words penetrate the core of who I am.
It began to make so much sense to me. Though these things are unseen, they have a lot of value. They hold me back from the best things in my life. You see in my mind I can replay what someone said to me one thousand times and continue to allow myself to relive those emotions, the disappointment, joys, pains, the offense, and frustration. I have the power to let those words roll off of me like pellets of hale as they fall from the sky. I also have the power to allow those words to become part of the fabric I am.
No matter what I decide, I need to make a choice. See that is commitment. I have to choose every day to allow or disallow something in my life. I have to allow or disallow things to take up space in my mind, my heart, and my body. It’s time for somethings to go and for somethings can stay. I have to constantly check in with myself and see where these words are landing and really take an inventory to see if these are worthy to live in my space.
I guess to sum it up, our commitment issues stem from other issues. It’s time to break through and maybe even break down some of the words others have spoken to us that we unwillingly or willingly chose to accept as truth.
Everything has to progress or it dies. It’s your time to grow. Let the old you die so the new you can live.
As always wishing you the best.
Love you lots,
Krys
Krys Grant-Ray 