Good day journey companion,
Moving isn’t for the faint at hearts. Every box packed was evident that I was closing a chapter in my life.
I have moved all my boxes from one place to another. I have assembled the beds, the tables, the bathroom looks like we love it, and our kitchen is beginning to look like we will prepare food in it.
Looking back on the past twelve days I see facts.
Day 1 – The movers and cable installation came. God helped me keep it together.
Day 2 – Our first night in our new place. Also signifying the separation of my marriage. God showed me His love is all I ever need.
Day 3 – A false sense of security fell over me. God revealed truths of where I really am.
Day 4 – Friends came to visit. God reminded me how important it is for community.
Day 5 – Oh there is still more stuff to get and bring over. God told me some things can go but more has to stay that you will be comfortable with.
Day 6 – The last couple of trips and it’s officially over. God helped me realize I need to let go.
Day 7 – Our son wants to spend time with his dad. How am I going to manage this?!? God showed me I can do it with Him in me better than I can alone.
Day 8 -Purchased tickets to go far away and not have to deal with this for a while. God reminded me the power of pause and space.
Day 9 – The reality is I don’t know if I ever actually wanted to be married or have my own place. God encouraged me that I am worth being a wife and I need to start accepting that I am one.
Day 10 – Tears flood my eyes and I feel so lost. God stayed close and found me at the bottom of my pain and sat with me there.
Day 11 – My ten year old son tells me he needs therapy because this is too hard. God helped me see that healing begins with a conversation.
Day 12 – I confront the elephant in the room and share my emotions. God helps me compose myself to express current situation mishaps and not bring the past into it.
These days past by like months on the calendar. I feel so many different things on any given day. The idea of my life ever looking like it did is gone. I actually don’t even want that life back.
Transition is challenging. Transformation is even more challenging. I have been extremely prayerful and connected to community and some of this still feels isolating.
I keep thinking about all the mistakes, all the hurtful words, all the broken promises, the betrayal, the unexpected disappointment, and worse the lack of care. There is really not much that takes away the pain so I have to lay it down at the feet of God. Tears, fears, and cares all to Jesus now.
I don’t know what you are going through but I know God loves you just as much as me. When you put your situation in it’s place which is God’s hands you will see things change.
Praying for you,