Day 30

Good morning journey companion,

This week has brought a lot of change into my life. I just finished one of my therapy modules which was bitter sweet. I am also entering the busy season of work.

My life isn’t what I thought it would be. I am having to let go of images and ideals of what it should be and praise God for what it is.

I sit in awe of what the past thirty one days have brought into my life. I have been having encounters with people who have seen a difference in the way I show up for life. The way I speak about situations and how I view next steps.

I give God total credit because seven months ago I was told you will never get over this. You can’t handle this. This will break you. Honestly I did break, I couldn’t handle it. However, where I was weak God made me strong in Him.

My life hasn’t always looked the way I want or felt it should. I never felt good in my own skin or understood why things happened to me. Even though I still struggle I see the glory of God written all over the story of my life.

I had to take a lunge of faith, I had to dive into a pool of trust, I had to swallow a lot of my pride, I had to pull up my big girl pants and step into community at a time when I felt so much shame and guilt.

I felt God forgot me, I began to think He didn’t know my name individually, He must have forgotten the other hurts and hang ups I experienced because here I am twenty plus years later experiencing similar feelings with a heavier weight.

God and I had long conversations because I was walking with Him now I like before. I was trusting Him now and thought He called me to ministry and a life of that surpassed my understanding or qualification.

Let me tell you one thing. God allowed me to go through these past seven months to show me where I came from and where I can only go with Him. Though this season of my life broke me in ways I could never imagine God put me back together beyond ways I could ever imagine.

I don’t know what tomorrow holds. I don’t know what relationships will stay, what job will come up but I do know my purpose is to exhale who God is in my story. To rejoice and wave my hands in thanksgiving of what He has done in me and through me.

I have no soap box to stand on simply the word of God. I encourage you to ask God where can He help you grow in your relationship with Him. It’s not easy it’s not rainbows and gumdrops but it does bring a richness to your life that you would never expect.

ABBA, I am so thankful for You. My praise and worship will always be laced with gratitude and Thanksgiving. My vow to You my lord is to never stop worshiping even when things feel unbearable I submit to Your will.

Father I don’t know Your plan for me but I have learned Your heart for me. I am a living breathing miracle. Thank You for believing and loving me when I was incredible difficult to love. Thank You for the conversations, correction, and convictions in my heart to be exactly who You called me to be without fear.

Father God my pray is simply of thankfulness and gratitude this morning as I sit in the wonder and splendor of Your hand.

I pray this in the mighty name of Jesus amen.