Day 35

Good morning journey companion,

As I grow closer to God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit I become acutely aware of my imperfections. I become aware of my sinful nature and even get a glimpse of root problems instead of trying to stop the symptoms.

Though I know I will never be perfect I am beginning to take comfort in knowing God made me exactly the way I need to be. My feelings of insecurities, doubts, and fears are only distractions from my purpose.

I had to sit with this last night and this morning. My emotions (feelings/thoughts) left me stranded on self-righteous island. I was alone with my own justifications of things and as soon as I became aware of it I was able to repent and ask God to show me His way. The thing is that it took me a couple of hours to become fully aware.

My thoughts are contaminated with seeds planted of lack of self worth, an inability to have an impact, people won’t understand me, I am not pretty enough, tall enough, smart enough, and the list really goes on.

As I pray for God to show me my identity in Him I begin to shed these things. I begin to walk in the fullness of me the good (because some of the seeds planted are true) I have accepted that I am not as smart as the next person, not as y’all and pretty as other women, I have even accepted people don’t understand me. I have realized that those things don’t define me. God defines me. So every time I fall I look to heaven and say God please pick me up.

My mind is completely blown when I shift my desire from pity to victory how God shifts from comforter to encourager. My feelings are skewed sometimes justified but mainly serving me in this season in a healthy way. They show me my lack and where God is filling in the gap.

Heavenly Father I praise you for who you are I rejoice in the transformation that You have done in my life. I am in awe of how time didn’t limit the work of your hands.

Father thank you for a community that has accepted all of me. The things I even struggle to accept. Thank you for giving me eyes to see my enemy and where You are bringing me.

Father I pray that we all are filled with your compassion to apply to our own lives. I pray we accept your grace and mercy as we learn your character and lean on your unfailing love.

I pray your will, your timing, your plan to be at the beginning middle and end of every story we ever tell about our lives. I pray for future generations to look back at us and know that there is a God of the universe that is fighting for them. I pray this and so much more in the mighty name of Jesus amen.