Today I woke up earlier than usual. I am struggling through this stupid diagnosis, my spiritual journey and keeping relationships together.
I accept that God is in control. He promised me it will be for my good. God gives me the courage to keep going and the hope to hold on. Sometimes I loose sight of God in the midst of the medical dialogue. My heart breaks when I hear the words that I know go against what I know God has told me. I have to do so much internal work to change the reel of communication. I have to change the words I hear to God’s truth!
The doctor says: the diagnosis you have is Metastatic Breast Cancer – this is not a curable disease. You are currently stable and this is a good thing.
My brain says: I know I don’t look like what I am going through but I feel it and I am afraid of being unstable.
My God says: We must pay the most careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away. 2 For since the message spoken through angels was binding, and every violation and disobedience received its just punishment, 3 how shall we escape if we ignore so great a salvation? This salvation, which was first announced by the Lord, was confirmed to us by those who heard him. 4 God also testified to it by signs, wonders and various miracles, and by gifts of the Holy Spirit distributed according to his will. — Hebrews 2:4 NIV
The doctor says: when the meds don’t work then then we have minimal options
My brain says: OMG…God said He has stage 5 in my life but I don’t see it! Help me with my unbelief. Show me where to look and what to see.
God says: 35 While Jesus was still speaking, some people came from the house of Jairus, the synagogue leader. “Your daughter is dead,” they said. “Why bother the teacher anymore?” 36 Overhearing what they said, Jesus told him, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.” — Mark 5:34-36
God reminds me:“Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!” — Matthew 14:27 NLT
God comforts me: We know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. — Romans 8:28
My spirit says to God: You go before me and follow me. You place Your hand of blessing on my head. — Psalm 139:5 NLT
I accept that I don’t have to live afraid, hopeless or helpless because God cares. He holds me in His hands and leads me safely to Him.
Thank you so much for reading my blog. I am continuing to fight the good fight of faith. Love you more than words can express. Until next time.
Krys Grant-Ray 