I have always been super honest with my son… keeping secrets was never an option in our relationship. So when I began not feeling well he expected me to have answers for him.
On a daily basis my son worried about what was wrong with me, why was I unable to be fully present, why was who he knew to be his mom not showing up with the same characteristics.
I was unraveling the pain was too much to handle. The lack of mobility caused him to learn so many things so quickly just to survive. Through it all we had honest conversations and prayed a lot for God to guide us both. It’s not easy but it was simple. Don’t hide in the situation and be as honest as you can so he can understand and navigate. The journey continues.
Thank you so much for your prayers, donations and dedication to God’s vision. Look forward to growing closer and setting a space of intentional God moments. I am committed to leaning in and pressing forward no matter what the cost. So excited for the journey to continue.
Let’s go on a journey of how I got here… this is a timeline of a broad stroke of getting diagnosis from October to February
Back in October 2021 – I woke up with a pain that felt like labor but there was no pregnancy. I did my usual gotos for body aches – epsom salt bath. NO RELIEF! I tried stretching, walking and even getting more rest… NOTHING … NOTHING Changed!
For a couple weeks I tried to walk it off, stretch it away and soak it to rest. It was only intensifying. I scheduled an appointment with my doctor which took longer than I wanted but we were in the midst of a pandemic so what could I do?!?
I prayed, asked God to help me navigate what was going on and how to feel better. He didn’t give me a direct answer – if I am honest He never does. It was all about trusting the process. I felt Him encourage me to push past regular action and be more aggressive in finding out what was going on.
In and out of doctors offices I went. I found myself listening to incorrect diagnosis that didn’t align with what I knew my body was experiencing was super frustrating. I continued to pray and God reminded me to not give up; the answer was there. So I continued to ask questions of these specialists and unfortunately I was dismissed. It was hard for me not to feel as though there was some disparity in my treatment but I kept hanging on to God’s direction.
I was gradually checking out on my life. The things I found important were no longer areas I could focus on. I was struggling with keeping myself together from day to day. Every doctor’s appointment left me feeling less and less likely to find the cause but just treating the symptoms.
The frustration, the limited mobility and extreme pain robbed me of moments to be fully present. My heart broke – my pain was taking me to places I had never been before in my life. People in my life just didn’t understand the reality that I was living. I was a stranger in my own body.
I had to make a choice every day on how I was going to deal. Then I began fasting (omitting eating and excessive television / social media from my daily activity) within 6 days of starting my body began new symptoms and increased pain. I was nauseous all the time and couldn’t keep food in, everything would come up within minutes to hours after eating or drinking. Friends thought maybe it was food poisoning. I lost over 9 pounds in 5 days. – This isn’t normal. I finally decided to take more assertive action and go to urgent care and not leave until I got real answers. Urgent Care opened at 9:00am. I was there at 9:15am – I didn’t leave until around 6:55pm. Again incorrect diagnosis that didn’t align with what I knew my body was experiencing.
After many tests and incomplete results I had to urge the doctor to treat me as if I were her to get the type of care and testing that would find something real. It was time to stop looking superficially at things and really take a deeper look.
In that deeper look – I got a CT scan that began a process that would forever change my life and my relationship with God.
Thank you so much for your prayers, donations and dedication to God’s vision. Look forward to growing closer and setting a space of intentional God moments. I am committed to leaning in and pressing forward no matter what the cost. So excited for the journey to continue.
It started in 2021 with a vision from God while I was in Hawaii. During my prayer time God spoke to me clearly saying I will return to Hawaii with others to encounter Him. 12 women and 1 boy said yes. There were very little details given as to what each step should be, God used my faith to build the experience.
As the retreat began to take shape it was called Krysalis (Kri-sə-ləs) which focused on metamorphosis of our flesh and spiritual walk with God. I believed God was developing a holistic approach to discipleship specifically for women within me. I understood God’s desire was to go on a journey with His children to encounter Him on the mountaintop. Expecting to then encounter our true self and engage with others in a new way.
To help others measure their expectations as they prepared I understood the biggest thing to overcome was to remember this isn’t a vacation opportunity. It’s focused on spiritual, physical, financial, and emotional growth and planning future retreats. This was about moments with God. For each member to feel God’s love lavished on them specifically.
This unique journey is seed for women who follow. Each woman that went on this trip paved a way for the future. We identified opportunities to have God encounters surrounded by 50 acres of land overlooking the ocean.
Thank you so much for your prayers and dedication to God’s vision. Look forward to growing closer and setting a space of intentional God moments.
The story continues please follow the blogs and videos posted.
Since I was a kid I was never really able to stay up too far after 9pm it’s just the way God made me. Last night I was up until about midnight listening to worship music and really just desiring the presence of God and His promises for my family and those that I love.
Long story short. I woke up this morning and the wind was blowing, the trees where shaking, the leaves were whispering and all I could hear over that was
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
This was so powerful that I looked around to see who was saying this… the truth is I had been desiring to hear God over all the noise in my life I wanted to know that the direction I was going in was correct. I had been fasting and praying and I wanted His stamp of approval.
Sometimes God’s approval is the promises He has declared and decreed over our lives before we were even born.
I don’t know what you are waiting for, what choices you have to make, what you need to be saying yes to but you said no or the other way around. Be sure that if you can’t hear from God you have some people in your village that can.
I leave you with this thought. If I do nothing, something happens, if I do something something happens. – So what if you made some choices to do somethings. God has a way of highlighting next steps but sometimes we just need to be bold enough to take the first one.
It’s been a while since I have written on this platform for so many reasons. The biggest one is that I didn’t know that my voice mattered. In a world of life coaches saturating people’s timeline my ordinary life and way to face situations didn’t seem to fit the frame that coaches have set the frame of coaching.
The most beautiful part of saying this aloud is proof of transformation is to be honest. There is a moment when self love guided what I do. My higher power (God) is steadily holding up a reflection of who I am through the people I encounter on a daily basis. I realize that many years ago when God gave me the revelation of being a transformational coach. After years of training it made a lot of sense for me to pursue it daily.
Fast forward to 2022, I am living a life that has been transformed through the power of God. His love has lavished me in so many areas that my identity clings to Him. The transformations happened deep within on such a private level that God radiates on the outside of me.
God accepted my life as a living sacrifice righteous and pleasing to HIM. I will say there were highs and lows and unmet exceptions but God turned them into HIS good.
Where ever you are please be encouraged your voice matters, your journey matters, your mess is creating a message God can use to bring glory to His name. Continue to seek God no matter what things look like.
One life is all we get! The day to day makes it seem like tomorrow is promised but I will promise you this my friend it isn’t.
Today is the gift that you have. Don’t allow yourself to be too upset too long, don’t offense settle in, don’t miss the moment to smile, don’t miss the opportunity to share a laugh with someone.
It’s the day to change your life and someone else. It’s so simple to put yourself in front of everything going on in your life but think about someone who can really use your attention. The thought itself isn’t enough thought – now it’s time to act.
Yesterday is over so allow yourself to forgive whatever it is that happened. You can’t go back and change it. Forgive and move forward.
Today is here enjoy everything it brings to you. If you get to see tomorrow be grateful.
I am really not good at this keeping up on social platforms with talking about myself. I definitely understand that we live in a society that is all about look at me. I just want people to turn their gaze to God. I am a mere messenger.
Every time I write a post, take a photo, have a conversation I realize that God’s at the center of who I am, who I want to be and where I want to go in my life. I just want to be more like God everyday. I don’t want to hide behind falsehoods and misleading representations of my life. It’s hard, it’s hard, it’s scary and sometimes believe it or not it’s lonely.
As I embrace next step on my journey I understand that part of making money is sales…so my sales pitch is if you want a true God encounter hang out with me. I am not being boastful or prideful I am just being honest! I spend a lot of time with God. For the past 8 years I have gotten really good at coaching people into God’s presence and finding where they end and God begins. I want to take you on this journey with me. I deserve to get paid for it but I do so much that doesn’t cost anything. Let’s be journey companions. I am expecting God to do something spectacular in your life and in mine. Buckle up!
Life happens in an instant. Sometimes it feels like you are getting by a train but sometimes it feels like you are soaring on cloud 9. No matter the feeling the truth is that when you blink, breathe it in it changes.
In 7 days I am going to turn 40 and I have so much unfinished business from my 30’s. God woke up at again at 3:33 in the morning to talk to me and I can’t leave some of these things they keep being brought back to my mind.
Over the next 7 days I guess I need to dig deep and really let go of some stuff that doesn’t need to see my 40’s.
Heavenly Father, I don’t know when and I don’t know how but I know one day I will look back on these situations and feel a load has lifted. I am nervous and excited for what you have in store for me. I pray for an eye to see my situation the way you see it. I pray to let any unresolved situations in my heart and mind be left at your feet. I pray for healing and deliverance but ultimately for freedom. God I am praying for my salvation and how I navigate the a life filled with love, kindness, courage, peace and community. I pray this in the name of Jesus amen.
The understatement of a lifetime. I think about all the things that I have overcome in this life and I realize that resilience has been such a part of my story.
I have these moments where I completely dig into learning and refining my belief in God. I find truth in who I am and feel comfortable with being exactly the God made me with all my imperfections.
You don’t always get to see the transformation that happens underneath but it’s happening. I allow myself the space to breakdown and fall down and feel my seams. I slip in and out moments of complete isolation and other moments of complete submerged in community.
I am hyper aware that I am always growing and flowing in and out of my own love story. I love the bounce back of my spirit ready for the next new exciting journey. All the bumps in the road and the great view from the mountain were all worth this moment.
Krys Grant-Ray 