Good morning journey companion,
As I mature in my relationship with God I realize that my heart was so filled with pride for decades. I believed I deserved so much and because I didn’t have what I believed I should it prevented me from giving God my whole self.
In my infant understanding of who God was I boxed Him in. My mind and heart felt left out of the fold. God must not be pleased with me I often thought. I felt layers of shame and guilt in my life.
I sit here today and look back, take in the infant version of my relationship with God and see how far I have come.
I can remember conversations with God as far back as thirteen or so when I helped pastors begin a youth church in our church basement. I remember feeling left out the church facing honoring of the success the youth church brought. Though I helped so much. I have come to realize all my time in the background was purposeful. I wasn’t ready. I desires it too much for the wrong reasons.
I can mark my growth by situations and truths God is revealing. I went through life being taught by God to be content in the background, He even went one step further and kept me in the background and changed my heart. He showed me my value in the background, He showed me His truth in the background He gave me ownership of my identity in the background.
I don’t know where you are in your life but God is helping you in the background. You may not always see it. You may not always feel it. But know if you are living a surrender life to God your creator He is at work in areas both seen and unseen.
Heavenly Father from before our parents could conceive us, You desired us. From before we could love You, You loved us, before we knew who we were, You knew who we are. Beyond thankful for Your attention to detail in our lives.
Merciful God please forgive us when our prideful heart gets in the way. Please help us understand we don’t always deserve everything we think we do. Please help us be content with the plans You have for us and how You are growing us in each season.
Father though we can’t go back in a womb please take us close to You like a new born baby and nurture us and help us to only desire Your bread of life. Father we are in need of Your presence in our lives please help us see where we fall short and need more of You.
Father God please speak to our hearts, help our mind focus on what You have given and the blessings You have provided and create a heart of expectancy and take away the heart of entitlement. Hear these prayers lord as Your humble children fall at Your feet in worship of who You are.
Father God, please reveal Yourself in our lives daily. Please keep refining us, please send people in our lives that will keep us focused on who You want us to be and Your plan for our lives. I pray this and so much more in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen
Krys Grant-Ray 